The Stages of Grief: A Nuanced Process
The Stages of Grief: A Nuanced Process
Losing a loved one, whether human or animal, is a deeply moving experience.
When my cat Babyboo passed away, I experienced a real upheaval. She wasn't just a pet; she was part of my life, my routine, my world. After she passed away, I looked for a way to pay tribute to her, something that would reflect me and reflect the love I had for her.
It is from this pain and this quest for meaning that Concrete Memory was born: a collection of modern, minimalist urns and reliquaries, designed with the heart for those who are experiencing the loss of a loved one.
But I want to say this right now: I am not a grief expert . I am a craftsperson who lost a loved one and wanted to create a gentle space to transform the pain into memory. If you feel the pain is too great, there are resources to support you , and there is no shame in asking for help. 💛
Here I'm sharing the stages of grief , which may resonate with what you're going through. This isn't a recipe, nor a specific order: grief is unique to each person.
1. Denial
This is often the first reaction. The brain needs time to integrate the reality of the loss.
Example: You come home and absentmindedly fill your pet's bowl, forgetting for a moment that they're gone. Or you think you heard them running toward you, as usual. This denial mechanism is your mind's way of protecting you from the sudden shock.
2. Anger
When reality sets in, it can cause anger, sometimes directed at yourself, at the vet, or at life itself.
Example: You blame yourself for not seeing the signs sooner, or you blame the vet for not saving your pet. This anger may be accompanied by thoughts like, "If only I had..." It's not your fault, but these thoughts are often part of the process.
3. Bargaining
This is the time for imaginary scenarios, where we replay events over and over again in our heads.
Example: You say to yourself, "If I had tried that treatment... If I had taken him to the vet sooner..." This is an unconscious way of trying to regain control, even though deep down, we know that we cannot change the past.
4. Depression
A deep sadness sets in when we fully realize that nothing will bring our loved one back.
Example: Routines once filled with small, shared gestures become painful. The absence is palpable. The silence in the house is heavy. We may feel alone, overwhelmed, or lacking energy. This phase can last… and that's normal. Be gentle with yourself.
5. Acceptance
Over time, we begin to make peace with absence. This doesn't mean forgetting, but learning to live with it.
Example: You find yourself smiling when you think back to something your pet did wrong. You feel grateful for the moments you experienced. You realize that the love you had for your companion can be transformed and passed on in other ways. Maybe even to another living being, when you're ready.
Grief is not linear
This process is often compared to waves: sometimes gentle, sometimes devastating. You may go from anger to acceptance, then back to sadness. And that's perfectly normal . Grief is a personal journey, one that requires time, support... and a lot of self-kindness.
And if you need help…
Don't hesitate to consult specialized grief resources . There are listening services, support groups, and professionals who can accompany you with compassion. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. It is an act of courage.
💬 If this article touched you, please feel free to share it or leave me a message. I'm always honored to see how my creations find their place in the important moments of your life.
With all my heart,
Myriam
Creator of Concrete Memory and Les Mimipots